My birthday was on Friday. I was going to take the day off but of course something came up at work and I had to go to the office. Despite that I left after lunch since I had made plans already in the afternoon.

Since I wanted to do something special I decided I'd give sensory deprivation a go again. I had went a few times a couple years ago and it was pretty nice and very relaxing, but after breaking my arm the summer before last I had to take a break.

I kind of gave up on all the meditation stuff after breaking my arm. I stopped going to the Zen place I went to for about a year since I couldn't get to the ground with my busted arm. After a while it just felt easier and easier to just not mediate.

I started to hate the weird, validation-seeking vibe that meditation places had. At least in the place I went to, I got this feeling that people were almost acting out a Zen role, trying to seem distant and "otherworldly". Maybe they had transcended, who knows? But at least for me, hearing that "we do this for no purpose" felt depressing give the amount of time I spent on the whole thing. In the larger sense of things I understand that everything is eventually "pointless", but for the time being I'd rather do something pointless that is at least mildly fun. My interested in computers is translating in some ways to professional success that also gives me a sense of helping my community. Comparatively, I'm not sure if all my meditating did anything for anyone, even myself.

So just floating in a tank once in a while still gives me a nice, mediation vibe that I like but doesn't take up 10% of my life every day. I've been going to retreats once a year as well, but for the time being I'm just going to keep the meditation stuff on the back burner.

After the tank I went and had dinner with a few friends of mine, we were on a terrace and the weather was amazing. We talked and laughed and it was one of the better birthdays I've had.